Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
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If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
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I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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