if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
