please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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