Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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