Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
this will be a night to untag.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....