So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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