yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
