It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Of course I have a pirate flag
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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