he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I am available for nakedness
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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