Kareoke will never be a sober sport
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
