he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
