Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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