Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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