This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
