i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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