and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
