her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
