How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
