I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
