My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
