So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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