You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
