Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
