ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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