We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
