My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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