Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
