I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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