He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
