My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize