i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
