dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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