My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
