The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
