btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
