Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How does one acquire holy water?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
