So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think I sprained my soul last night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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