i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
