Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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