I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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