Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize