it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
