Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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