Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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