i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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