I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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