Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
