cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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