I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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