I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm at about main and main street
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
