You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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