Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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