Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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