I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize