I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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