I want to have your abortion
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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